Comments on Give Me Back My Five Bucks: Spoiled cousin now asking for donations

Oops, didn't mean to remove my comment! What I sai...

2009-11-25T08:02:13.535-08:00

Oops, didn't mean to remove my comment! What I said was that you could recommend her to Gail's new show Princess.

I'm with @Looby on this one. Unless you're traveli...

2009-11-24T16:22:55.713-08:00

I'm with @Looby on this one. Unless you're traveling for a noble cause, I'm not donating a cent.

@Laura - It sounds like the cousin needs to fund raise because she lives above her means. As an able bodied adult, I'd have a hard time asking people to give me money for a hobby. Such requests are usually reserved for charity.

I would be just as aggravated as you are. I might ...

2009-11-24T13:53:27.506-08:00

I would be just as aggravated as you are. I might go a step further and casually suggest that she sell of some of the items in her room... Its my guess that mom and dad will shell out the money for that trip if she doesnt raise, so not to worry!

Interesting the on August 4, 2009 your own blog sa...

2009-11-24T13:44:13.914-08:00

Interesting the on August 4, 2009 your own blog said…

"As for asking friends/family for donations, I think the best thing to do would be for us to set up a PayPal account, and then send out an e-mail to everyone and tell them what we're doing. Then if they want to donate, they can. And if they don't, then no big deal. I don't want to bombard people with multiple emails, or set any goal to be reached. If we raise $100 or $1,000, or $0, it doesn't matter. That way, I don't feel like we're pressuring anyone to help us reach a set goal, yet we're giving people an opportunity to donate to our volunteering efforts if they choose to (because I know family will probably want to)."

So how is your cousin’s request different the very one you were going to do when you were going to travel? You were just going to ask, if people wanted to they could, no harm in asking right? It was an interest you wanted to pursue, same thing for your cousin. Just because she has had a different life then you that leads you to get so upset? I think a lot of your long term followers have noticed your blog has become more about spending then saving, fine, life is full of ups and downs and good and bad. So your cousin has seemly had it easy to this point, cool, maybe you will have it easy for the next 25 years, and she won’t.

The fact you were going to “volunteer” and she’s not doesn’t really add up. You were doing it to extend your trip, see parts of the world you couldn’t afford to on your own, it wasn’t some grand altruistic calling. Which is FINE- just as what your cousin wants to do is FINE!

Don’t be so hypocritical, your own words can come back to you.

It sounds like a given that her parents are going ...

2009-11-24T12:29:00.210-08:00

It sounds like a given that her parents are going to pay for the whole thing if necessary; they probably just think it's a good lesson to make her pretend to try to raise some of it since her teammates are.

On a related note my cousins often solicit donations to go on mission trips with their church - for which many of my relatives are happy to donate. But then one of them graduated from college and decided to take a full time "job" volunteering in Morocco with a Christian organization. He gets a small stipend to live on but was then trying to raise money for his flight and moving costs and inital living expenses.

My father told everybody that he wasn't giving and why - it's one thing to raise money as a student for a one time event or trip, but it's another thing to raise money to fund a lifestyle that you have chosen.

I wouldn't donate any money to her, especially kno...

2009-11-24T10:16:28.697-08:00

I wouldn't donate any money to her, especially knowing that she doesn't need any of my money and that her parents will just pick up the slack.

I too wonder about what her life will be like once she gets a little older. Do her parents have enough money to continue supplementing her lifestyle forever?

I agree -- I think her parents are going to end up...

2009-11-24T07:54:28.059-08:00

I agree -- I think her parents are going to end up footing the bill anyway

She doesn't seem to have a real interest in learning how to save or work for what she's got

I kind of feel sorry for her. Not angry or irritated... she's not going to have a pleasant reality check in the future.

Am so glad I'm me. :D

It sounds like her parents are going to end up wri...

2009-11-24T07:46:59.869-08:00

It sounds like her parents are going to end up writing her a check anyway.

The real world is going to hurt this girl reallll badly

This kills me b/c I am on a roller derby team and ...

2009-11-24T07:32:46.207-08:00

This kills me b/c I am on a roller derby team and we fundraise often. While we all pay for our own equipment, supplemental health insurance and dues, getting a bout (game) together is expensive. We don't openly ask for money, but we do raffles, concerts, etc.

I had no idea how angry people got about adult sports.

Hopefully her parents dont just give her the money...

2009-11-24T06:47:18.236-08:00

Hopefully her parents dont just give her the money. then she really wont be learning anything.

I think this is going to be the first lesson in pe...

2009-11-24T06:23:03.690-08:00

I think this is going to be the first lesson in personal finance for her. We've all had to learn someway.

If each girl on the team has to fundraise, maybe s...

2009-11-24T05:52:37.447-08:00

If each girl on the team has to fundraise, maybe she has to as well. Sure she could ask her parents or work to do it, but maybe its to show dedication or something...have you asked her why she needs to fundraise? I hope my cousins don't talk about me like this.

oh that just aggrevates me! in a way, she really i...

2009-11-24T05:26:11.459-08:00

oh that just aggrevates me! in a way, she really is a 'poor' girl. Once she gets out into the real world she will fall flaton her face.

I'll personally donate $20 to her... if she person...

2009-11-23T22:21:52.969-08:00

I'll personally donate $20 to her... if she personally donates her Wii collection to me!

I have mixed feelings about the whole fundraising ...

2009-11-23T20:49:32.348-08:00

I have mixed feelings about the whole fundraising thing for adult sports.

In your cousin's case, no contest. Get mommy & daddy to fork over the cash, just like they always do. Stop bugging everybody else. If they won't pay, there's this called a job.

In the case of serious athletes who work out 6 or more hours per day and need to travel to a number of other countries during the course of the year for competitions that lead up to other competitions that lead to world class events, I recognize that many of them can't actually make enough to pay for all the competitions, flights, equipment, etc. etc.

I definitely don't have the sense your cuz is in that category (or ever will be, because it requires tons of self-discipline, talent, self-sacrifice, etc.).

I wouldn't. And how old is she? I haven't gone whi...

2009-11-23T20:16:31.649-08:00

I wouldn't. And how old is she? I haven't gone whining to my parents for anything since I was about 12.

I agree with you. And like Ginger, I would TOTALL...

2009-11-23T19:47:57.082-08:00

I agree with you.

And like Ginger, I would TOTALLY 'suggest' selling some of her rarely used possessions.

And not give her anything.

That would drive me NUTS too! I know some people l...

2009-11-23T19:41:14.446-08:00

That would drive me NUTS too! I know some people like that, that have never had to work a day in there life.

I can't stand "adult sports" funding requests - I'...

2009-11-23T19:24:57.261-08:00

I can't stand "adult sports" funding requests - I've had a few friends who had fund raisers for their hockey teams.

Give me a break - if you are 25, 35 whatever and want to play hockey then go ahead - just don't ask me to help fund it.

Maybe you could email her back and tell her nicely...

2009-11-23T18:18:18.251-08:00

Maybe you could email her back and tell her nicely that you can't afford to give her a donation right now, but you have some suggestions for raising money, e.g. selling her stuff? You get your jab in but look like the helpful cousin?

I wouldn't give her anything, either. And I proba...

2009-11-23T18:08:47.489-08:00

I wouldn't give her anything, either.

And I probably would tell her to sell some of her things. But that's just me. You seem to have more restraint than I do.

Ugh I hate these kind of requests- I never give to...

2009-11-23T17:05:28.414-08:00

Ugh I hate these kind of requests- I never give to them. I donate to charity, this is a request for you to chip in and support a hobby.

I have a friend who annually tries to get me to "donate" to her softball team and I never do; I don't solicit for donations for my dance classes.

savings: Each girl on the team has to individually...

2009-11-23T16:43:30.412-08:00

savings: Each girl on the team has to individually raise $2,500. So she was soliciting for personal donations from family and friends.

Was she taking personal donations, or donations on...

2009-11-23T16:42:03.187-08:00

Was she taking personal donations, or donations on behalf of her team (like when schools sell wrapping paper or magazines to raise money)?

Still, I think she's got a lot of nerve!

Sorry to hear she is aggravating you. Don't let he...

2009-11-23T16:37:06.022-08:00

Sorry to hear she is aggravating you. Don't let her situation bring you down.